10 Reasons You Should Be Watching (Or Already Should Have Seen) “ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK”

Posted: August 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

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Just as Netflix is the new AMC and AMC became the new HBO – it’s still great that HBO continues to keep The Sopranos OnDemand, because there are very few programs that entrap me into an antisocial cocoon all the way to the end. I actually prefer programming to be brief and not dependent on expository bullshit from 3 seasons ago. So yesterday was the first day that Seattle had rained in 34 days. I was advised to take a day of rest and Orange Is The New Black got a full 8 episodes out of me. That’s about 8 hours of television! And there are 5 more left in the season. I think it’s very smart of Netflix to release them in entire seasons, by the way. Says a lot about the evolution of story consumption that people watched every episode of House of Cards (Netflix’s other success with Kevin Spacey, which I thought was pretty great but I guess I’ll fess up and admit not to finishing.) And I guess there is a reason this show is much like getting swept away in a novel; it’s based on an actual memoir my friend Jen is reading right now of the same title.

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Here Are 10 Reasons Why You Should Be Watching (Or Already Should Have Seen) “Orange Is The New Black”

1. Jason Biggs gets off Twitter to actually act in a scene where Whole Foods produce is used as phone sex fodder.

2. The actress who plays Yoga Jones was the voice of Patty Mayonnaise on Doug.

3. They had the guts to film all the way in Canarsie.

4. Annie Golden plays the mute prison kitchen bitch.

5. If this show even makes it to 3 seasons, every lesbian in NYC with a SAG card will have been on it.

6. Lines of Aryan hyperbole, such as: “I have been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened, and called Taylor Swift”

7. And another: “All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power.”

8. There is a character who’s name is Pornstache… and I have the English subtitles to prove it.

9. Yeah, it’s the writing, basically. The ensemble here is also incredible.

10. And it’s way, way better than Weeds.

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