“Italochine” Midnights

Posted: July 11, 2013 in Uncategorized


Last week I ran out of angel hair, but brought home some fresh Chinese egg noodles that came from Seafood City, the new Filipino Superplex in Southcenter. It reminded me of how when I went to SUNY Purchase, so often they would try to pass lingiune for chow mein noodles.  While the kids from the Adirondacks were thrilled to be eating Chinese food every day, I felt forever in position to say nothing and I’m not even Chinese.  In any event, I seem to have invented a culinary revenge swap.  Tonight the food ninja substituted egg noodles for pasta, and it was a triumph, hunty!  An absolute TRIUMPH!

I’m trying to think of a way I can describe the sauce. It was recommended to me that if you simmer condensed potatoes with caulflower, herbs, low-fat cream cheese with romano and avocado oil and that you can simmer up a terrific vegetable alfredo primavera. And so I just tried this at 3 in the morning (no measurements, true to sport) and I have to say that it turned out stellar… even if it’s clear from the photo that I ended up with too much sauce for the noodle ratio. Afterward, I sliced some steamed yellow and green zucchini and sprinkled red peppers, pungent herbs, paprika around it with a circle splash of lemon juice.

emotions are dumb

As healthy and fresh as many the ingredients are, the sauce turned out as decadent as any fresh cream sauce I’ve ever had.  It got me thinking about how important substitutions are, particularly if you find yourself facing a whole new world of dietary restrictions.  I’ve learned that decadence runs in my bloodlines, but most of the time I have been poor and have to come up with satisfying ways to maneuver this predisposition without robbing stores on Fifth Avenue.  A friend of mine who throws parties in New York City once said to me months after the 2008 crash “there is no way we can make decadence contempotary again.”  Here is what I have to say to THAT:

We were born with eyes, ears, assholes, tongues, cocks, clits, fingers, fannies, minds and hearts that were meant for more than dreaming at night.  Don’t deprive them from a second glance.  LET VARIETY BE YOUR DECA-DANCE!!!

That is what Lady Gaga was overliteralizing in “Born This Way”, right, or did I just start unintentionally writing a non-rhyming Burt Bacharach song just now?  Things in this blog are really starting to crash together in a big way, aren’t they?

In other news, the jury is still out on whether egg noodles are an improvement over angel hair or if Alex Trebeck is right and Marco Polo stole the idea 7 centuries ago.

Were these ever really important questions?

(P.S. Shut up, Mike Daisey!)

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